An interesting question…
So today I was on JDate and a gentleman asked me what my religion was. Um, okay, let’s try Jewish. Then he clarified his question, by asking if I was reform, conservative, etc. Okay. Couldn’t tell you. I know there’s different branches of Judaism, but I didn’t know that there were that many. Apparently, it’s just like the Christians in some way. Orthodox, baptist, methodist, etc. but they all pretty much believe the same thing. It’s the other issues they differ on . Same with us Jews.
So while I’m not trying to sound ignorant (which I am), can anyone tell me, in plain English, what the major branches are and what the differences between them are? So far, all the books I’ve read haven’t been all that clear on this….

To answer the question kind of briefly, Orthodox Jews tend to be more rigid about the mitzvot and believe that the Torah is divinely inspired, and that the Talmud comes from the Oral Torah and thus is also divinely inspired.
Reform Jews tend not to believe in the divinity of the Torah and also believe that the ethical and socially just component of Judaism is primary, and tend not to pay much attention to halakhah and the Talmud.
Conservative Jews, on the other hand, essentially walk a balancing act between the two – on the one hand, mitzvot are just as important as ethics and social justice, but on the other hand, the Talmud and Oral Torah are not set in stone and are adaptable to modernity and change.
Hope this helps, a little!