All Alone…

Well, my new best friend has taken off for L.A. in search of answers.  Questions that hit you pretty hard, like what else to do with your life, what you want to be when you grow up, etc.  I find myself in the same position, and I’m slowly finding some of those answers.  Only I can’t escape to L.A. to try to find those answers.

I miss him terribly.  We’ve gotten so close over the past few months, and he’s such a part of my life now.  Do I wish something would happen between us?  You bet.  I’m not the dreamer type, but I could definitely see a future for both of us, in each others lives.  And that’s not an easy thing for me to picture.  With two kids of my own, I would have to find someone that can accept them as a part of the ‘package’, which Steve has done, even though he hasn’t spent any time with them.

But without getting into all of that, I think I’m just going to enjoy this for a while and see where it leads and see what answers I get.  After all, G-d always answers questions, but not always Yes or No.  Sometimes it’s a simple, Not Yet.

Funny joke….

A friend of mine sent me this, so I thought I’d share…

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other in an airplane.

After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, ‘Is it

still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?’

The rabbi responded, ‘Yes, !  That is still one of our laws.’

The priest then asked, ‘Have you ever eaten pork?’

To which the rabbi replied, ‘Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to

temptation And tasted a ham sandwich.’ The priest nodded in

understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, ‘Father,

is it still aRequirment of your church that you remain celibate?’

The priest replied, ‘Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.’

The rabbi then asked him, ‘Father, have you ever fallen to the

temptations of the flesh?’

The priest replied, ‘Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and

broke with my faith.’

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking,

for about five minutes.

Finally, the rabbi said, ‘Beats the hell out of a ham sandwich,

doesn’t it?

An update on Steve

Well, Steve and I have been getting along just great!    I had a concert that I was performing in for the Fourth of July week (several concerts during the week), and he came along for the July 3rd concert.  First, I have to say how appreciative I was that he came along.  Supportive, and he truly enjoyed the concert.  He couldn’t stop raving about the orchestra and about how much he enjoyed hearing me play.  Second, I couldn’t believe that someone I really like came along.  This is the first guy that I’ve truly been interested in that didn’t have a problem coming along.  The few dates I’ve had that I wanted them to see me perform on stage have always grumbled about it, but in turn, they wanted me to see them play tennis, football, etc.

Is he Kosher?  Not really.  We both agree on that one.  During the holidays — okay.  Everyday.  Not ready to make that commitment yet.  We both agree that we want kids – and he has no problem accepting mine.  No, they haven’t met him yet, but I’ve been very open, honest and up front about them from the beginning.  Yep.  We’re a package deal.  And so far, he likes the package!  :

Talking about previous dates, and our previous marriages, we both have a lot in common, both in who we are, but also what we’re looking for in a potential mate.  He’s been married twice before, both to out-of-country girls.  So this is basically what he’s looking for.  A Jewish, single, US Citizen, into computers, pretty smart, decent looking, not a high or low maintenance kind of girl that has a decent sense of humor, and he’s hoping to find her here in the Tampa Bay area.  Yeah, right!  Talk about narrow bandwith! 

Me, I’m looking for a guy that doesn’t mind the fact that I have kids, decent looking, intelligent, preferably Jewish, a computer geek like me, a gentleman, and someone that isn’t into video games.  Well.  I’ve hit the jackpot!  Steve is all of those things and more!  Incredibly sweet, thoughtful, and we have a lot in common, but a lot to learn from each other as well!

Steve is in Peru right now, a week with his brother and sister-in-law.  I really miss him.  But he’ll be back on Wednesday the 16th.  I took him to the airport this past Wednesday (the 9th).  I got to his apartment about an hour early just because I couldn’t sleep.  Well, neither could he….    So we sat up talking until it was time to leave for the airport.  We kissed goodbye at the terminal entrance, and then he had to wait for about an hour before he could board his flight.  First class, of course.  But then again, if you had more than 300,000 sky miles in one year, you’d go first class too…  (yes, he travels a lot!)  I can’t wait to see where this adventure leads to! 

Heartbroken…. And yet… not….

Well.  It’s been an interesting past couple of days. I’ve had my heart broken and yet, there’s considerable hope on the horizon.  A longtime friend that became something more is officially dating someone else.  Very disappointing, but considering that we live in two different states, it was bound to happen.  At least I can say that we’re still very good friends.  I’m very sad about this, as I loved him very much, but… these things happen and I do wish him well with his new girlfriend.  I’m surprised at the fact that I’m not more broken up about it, but I think I know why….  keep reading.

On the flip side, I recently met a man named Steve.  You can read about him some in my previous posts.  We’ve officially gone out on our third ‘date’.  We were supposed to go bike riding, but my bike wasn’t working, so we got some breakfast and headed over to the Mac store.  He’s going to be getting a Mac.  Whoo-hoo!  I’ve converted another one! 

We got along so well at the store, and on our previous actual bike rides, that by the end of the trip he was holding my hand.  He’s unlike any other man I’ve met.  Sensitive and kind, a true gentleman, and we have a lot of the same interests.  The funny thing is, he’s as much of a computer geek as I am.  Highly intelligent.  And he’s Jewish.  And he loves music.  And he doesn’t mind the fact that I have kids.  (In fact, he loves it)  Umm.  Can we say hold on tight?    No, not obsessive/compulsive tight.  There’s something really special about this one!

I met him yesterday for a short while at Upchucks (starbucks) when I was killing some time between meetings.  Time flew by so fast!  Next thing I knew, it was time to leave.  After my meeting, I called him to see if I could stop by and drop off a cd of music that I knew he would love to hear.  He was telling me on one of our bike rides about his tube amplifier system and tube cd player.  To die for!  Well, we ended up sitting on his couch, listening to the cd together.  After the first song, he reaches over, gently grabs me by the shoulders and pulls me in close.  And we just sat there, listening to some great music!

I’m not a needy person, and I’m quite self sufficient.  But this was really nice!  But let me backup to earlier in the weekend.  Saturday was kind of weird.  My bike has been absolutely fine, but on Saturday, when we started to riding, the chain kept popping off.  So we took it back to his place, where he has a garage.  I just couldn’t fix it.  So went out to breakfast instead, followed by a trip to the Mac store.

I found myself grinning like an absolute fool later that day…  I haven’t ever been this intrigued in someone.  I and I do mean ever….  

Later, after I got home, I took a look at my bike and test rode it around the block.  No problems whatsoever.  Hmmm.  Is someone attempting to tell me something?  I certainly hope so!  If that’s the case, I certainly got the message loud and clear!  

Are you pondering what I’m pondering?

I sat pondering today, about all the unrest with religions. Not just Judiasm, but all of the religions. I just don’t understand why there is so much fighting over religion. Okay, so here’s my background a bit. I was adopted into a rather strange family.  My mother was raised Southern Baptist, my father Roman Catholic.  I went to a Christian high school, where I constantly played Devil’s Advocate and did not get along with any of my bible teachers, except for my World Religions teacher.

As I went into college, I loved my religion classes, and my ethic classes.  And my professors liked me.  I wasn’t afraid of confrontation or to speak my ideas and personal beliefs.  But I always bowed to the respect of others to disagree with me.  Even the ones that had truly outrageous beliefs were still respected, because they’re human beings, and they at least deserve my respect.  They stood up for their ideas, and stood behind them, no matter how out of this world I thought their ideas were.

This whole idea that one religion is better than the other is just absurd.  And until people realize that, we’re only going to have more Holocausts, more Spanish Inquisitions, more Dark Ages and Crusades.  It’s not just us Jews that suffer.  It’s everyone!

Disturbing News….

I was reading on the web today about how Iran wants to “wipe Israel” off the face of the Earth.

Sort of a downer to begin the day with….

I also read about how their “President” stated that the Holocaust was nothing more than a myth….

I am absolutely shocked.

How can someone who has physical evidence brought before them, with undoctored photos, personal testamonials of those that worked in the camps, and so much more claim that a horrific event never happened? Just because that person didn’t live during that time does it mean that it never happened….

Just because I didn’t live through WWII doesn’t mean my grandfather didn’t storm the shores at Normandy, or fly B-52 airplanes over Germany…..

Just because I didn’t live in the Dark Ages doesn’t mean the Spanish Inquisition didn’t occur, killing thousands upon thousands….

Just because I didn’t live during Julius Caesar’s rule doesn’t mean that there was no such thing as a Roman Empire…..

For someone to claim that the Holocaust didn’t happen…. well, to me….. that’s just unthinkable. Even before I found out I was Jewish, I had a deep understanding, respect, awe, horror, anger, and incredible sadness about the Holocaust.

Everyone has a right to exist, and to live their lives according to what they believe, but when you start infringing on other human beings right’s to do the same, you are no longer human. This is only one thing that sets us apart from the animals.

I’m a firm beliver in the principle that two wrongs don’t make a right, but I’m beginning to wonder if I should secretly start hoping that Iran’s nuclear power program has a rather unfortunate accident…. I understand that glass made from the heat of nuclear fission/fusion can glow in the dark, similar to the effects of lightning hitting the sand on a beach, but more spectacular….

Today’s Date – well, sort of….

Well, I had my first encounter with a member of JDate. I was supposed to meet a gentleman on Saturday, but before he got there, I had to leave thanks to one of my wonderful clients. Okay – not going into that right now…

So I guess I had my first “Official” date with another member of JDate. He was actually normal! What a relief! A gentleman, who shares a lot of my interests, including computers, old movies, wine, food and books! He has a PhD in computer theory. Talk about a glutton for punishment! LOL. That’s fine with me – it was nice talking shop talk with someone who actually understands the stuff I’m trying to do with my computers. Usually I get that glassy-deer-in-the-headlights look when I start talking about computers, but not him. It was really great.

We met at one of the local malls, and then he followed my car to the spot where we would take off on part of the Pinellas Trail. So we started talking, and kept going and going and before I knew it, it was a good 2.5 hours later! His name is Steve, and he’s originally from New York. You can definitely hear the accent, but it’s nice! I like it. He was so easy to talk with, laid-back, and best of all, he was expecting the exact same stuff I was. To make a new friend first, and then see what happens, if anything. That was a relief as well. I’m not exactly used to the whole “dating” concept, so……

Just a nice leisurely ride on our bikes, and I got to show him the true Pinellas county, which most people don’t usually get to see….  It helps being a native….

He’s definitely one I’d like to see again.  Even if nothing happens between us, I think I’ve officially made a new friend!  

An interesting question…

So today I was on JDate and a gentleman asked me what my religion was.  Um, okay, let’s try Jewish.  Then he clarified his question, by asking if I was reform, conservative, etc.  Okay.  Couldn’t tell you.  I know there’s different branches of Judaism, but  I didn’t know that there were that many.  Apparently, it’s just like the Christians in some way.  Orthodox, baptist, methodist, etc. but they all pretty much believe the same thing.  It’s the other issues they differ on .  Same with us Jews.

So while I’m not trying to sound ignorant (which I am), can anyone tell me, in plain English, what the major branches are and what the differences between them are?  So far, all the books I’ve read haven’t been all that clear on this….

Okay, let’s try it….

Okay, so I’ve decided to start dating again.  It’s been a long time since I divorced.  I’ve gone on a few dates and even had the “rebound” guy, but what I’m looking for is something a little bit more.  So I’m going to subscribe to JDate.com and see what happens.  At the very least I should make some new friends…

Wish me luck!

In the Beginning….

A bit of history….

I decided to start this blog after I was inspired by a friend to share my story.  So….

Where to begin?  Well, I’m a Pinellas County native, growing up in St. Petersburg.  I had a pretty normal life, complete with two parents and a dog.  I was in elementary school when I found out I was adopted.  I came across some paperwork that was rather interesting.  It had my name on it, along with documents from the court showing the finalization of my adoption.  No info about my real parents.

Well, that didn’t bother me too much, as I realized that these wonderful people took me in and treated me as their own, and that I could be in a much worse situation.  Although I did wonder about my natural parents, I never attempted to find out anything about them.

I was in high school when my mom sat me down and told me about the adoption.  Of course, I already knew about it, just not all the details.  So she pulled out the paperwork and went over it with me.

I was on-the-wawy-child #7 when my natural father passed away about 4 months before I was born.  My natural mother now had seven kids to support, so the two youngest of us were put up for adoption.  When she heard about my adoptive parents looking for a baby, she contacted them through a friend, an attorney, who set up the adoption.  My adoptive mom never met my natural mom, and didn’t even know her name.  All she knew was that I was going to be born here in Pinellas County sometime around the new year mark, 1978-79.

My adoptive parents were so excited, that they adopted me before I was born.  The adoption was final in May of ‘79, but my parents took me home at 2 days old.  And so I began my life with them, for which I was always be grateful.

Up until my early 20’s, I never did anything to find out about my natural parents, mostly at the behest of my adoptive mother.  She always told me that my father would be heartbroken, so I never pursued it.

My adoptive mother died in 1996 – a rather nasty crash that involved all three of us and a friend.  Too many bad memories there, so I’m going to skip that for now.  But after my mom died, I married and started a family of my own.  That’s when I realized that I needed to at the very least get my medical history for the sake of my kids.

So, I hired an attorney to do some research.  Turns out that my adoptive parents had the file sealed, and only my adoptive parents could authorize the unsealing.  I’m not completely sure how all that works, but…  okay….

Well, I got my medical history, which thankfully is practically next to nothing, with the exception of a few food allergies.  He also managed to find out some other interesting facts.

A disappointing one was that my natural mother had died about 4 years before I found out all this info.  Pretty disappointing there.

I did, however, get the name and address of my older brother, who had also been adopted.  He was 2 when he was adopted.  Also in Pinellas County, but his family had moved to California.  More on that later….

Although the attorney couldn’t release the names of my natural parents, he did tell me I was of Italian decent, and that both of my parents were Jewish.  That certainly came as a surprise to me.  The family I grew up with was a rather mixed up cadre of religions.  My adoptive father grew up Roman Catholic, my mother, Southern Baptist.  But they both encouraged me to explore religions and come to my own conclusions.

So after that revelation, I decided to begin the journey and explore my roots.  Even though I grew up in a sort-of-Christian household, when I started going to a Christian high school, I always felt at odds with my bible teachers.  Something just didn’t feel right until I got to the Old Testament.  Something felt right there, and so I started studying religions in earnest, becoming fascinated with the Jewish culture, and feeling a connection there, which only strengthened after my adoptive mother died.

I admit that I floundered for a while, not really sure what I wanted to do.  But now that my own kids are growing up, I feel like there’s something there that I want to share with them, a big part of their lives.

So, recently I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to explore my heritage more.  So, check back as I update the blog on my journey of discovery.  I don’t anticipate it being easy, but I still look forward to it….